Witch of Light

what's the point of this?
to make me believe in anything or something along those likes?
seriously. It's tiresome.
But it's inevitable.

This is like a week later if I'm not wrong.
So many things, so few things; many as the mind, few as the light. It's like my own thing relinquishes me to oblivion with no handshake or a peace sign.
So here we are, tired, unloved, unrequited, disregarded for-
Shit.
I shouldn't be that self condescending, it's bad. I'm prideful, but it's like even pride left me to my own; no clarity, no knowledge, no luck, no awareness. No importance. It's like void is welcoming me? I guess it does happen when I'm like this. I feel so... so lonesome.
It's like I'm somewhat dead while alive.
But the self discovering in a void quite helps to understand how much I do actually hate. It's like I'm having a grasp on how hard can I be, and at the same time I haven't forgotten a single thing, be my mind, soul or heart. I lack a lot of the things I'm supposed to have too, a critical lack of things, if I may.
And yet, here I'm hoping for tomorrow to be better than yesterday; after all you've got to descend before ascending.
Life would be way easier if the world was at least magical outside of our minds, your so called "God" is boring and a prick, and a bully too. It was that hard to make life easier for the people who want to change things?
Why IS it that fucking hard to change things?
Heck your so called omnipotent good is just a bully who enjoys human suffering, and the suffering of any life form in Earth. Unless that god favors deep sea creatures but heh, that would be really stupid.
It's your god then evil? He isn't omnipotent? Or he was fake all along?
Maybe he is actually, and even, dead.
But here we are, struggling like the stragglers we always were. Just surviving, just hunting.
But that still doesn't explain shit about the "changes" thing. It's just so hard it's hard to believe it's something natural; it's almost like an invisible and powerful hand controlling everything; every single thing we want to believe, every thing we want to treasure.
I mean, why the fuck.
Is this a dick move by the superior forces a mere mortal can't get to understand?
Or it's just plain evilness of the people who are up there?
At the end of the day the question remains the same, but the only possibility is to return to our roots and take out the root and put another fucking tree on the soil, but this time the tree has to be good, not bad, but everyone should take care of that tree.
Even so, that's just another utopia. People will care for about two generations max, then forget all the fights.
So, what do we do?
The answer is change. To change even our own skin. To change all what we believed: why good actions are property of religious people when good actions should be good things by itself? Morality is a hard thing to control, nonetheless we should strive for it. We should fight for change.
Even if blood is spilled. But if it's blood from the people who are dragging us down, that's a changer, that would put the root of the problems outside our entire life.
And the thing goes by like, to be good, to kill evilness, to change ourselves so that evilness is something to be purged, by ourselves too, so that no one would fight again like that.
Yet that feels but a dream.
May it be because I'm *that* depressed?
Maybe so.
Love has been harsh to me, like telling the whole universe: "hey, that guy should be loved like never!"
And it's dragging me down, putting me down, letting me down. Yes, I'm that weak. Sorry for not being a Strider.
But what can we do?
Yes, I'm depressed as fuck, but that doesn't mean I will stop fighting. I'll fight even if only my head is left. I'll fight even in my death; I'll fight whenever and whoever. To fight is the essence of believing in a tomorrow that may never come for me.
But at least another will have some more seconds to smile if I do this right.
And I hope someone will pick the flag.
Because things should and must be changed.
That's humanity way normally. And right now, some things should end as soon as possible.
After all, change will come even if you don't want so. Change is the wild beast that is inside all humanity but for they who lost their own.
So, my demons, come and embrace me.
I'm not ready, but I have to be.